Even excellent employers and managers make the mistake of leaving instructions unintentionally vague. It’s valuable to have an outside perspective to identify when this happens.

We've done this work many times, but it's safe to say we are the ones learning here. In Botswana, there’s a commitment to kindness and respect like no other culture I’ve seen, and because of that, speaking straight is a struggle.

The Beastie Boys looked out at that beer-soaked crowd of twentysomething white guys and realized their fans were taking all of this to heart…

You not only have to give people permission to speak up, you actually have to ask for it. And you need to be willing to listen generously…

“People all over the world want a good job with mission, purpose with a living wage. This finding gets you pretty close to the meaning of life in the new millennium.”

We have spent years endeavoring to bring the principle, “decency pays,” to the people we work with, and Wizard has been a great model for us.

Here are some recommended guidelines on how to speak straight respectfully:

1. Create some ground rules: No accusations, no name-calling, no bad language … etc.

2. Seek to understand before being understood.

3. Be factual. Resist interpretations and hyperbole in order to bolster your case.

4. Give up being “right”, as in a righteous attitude. 

5. Take breaks when it gets too hot. (You could use a walk after all that turkey anyway.)

6. Don’t take anything personally and don’t make assumptions. (Agreements 2 & 3: Don Miguel Ruiz)

7. Set up the environment. (Adults only, alcohol-free, remove sharp utensils … etc.)

8. Know your audience.

9. No ganging up on minority opinions.

10. Listen.

Making a request requires generous listening first, and then in speaking straight, respectfully. We have to be out of reaction mode in order to be effective.

Needing to speak up at work? Here are some tips:

1. Start with your commitment to the person, the department, and to the outcome of the conversation, with an intention to forward the action.

2. State the facts of the situation. Separate the facts from your interpretation. 

3. Share the impact the situation or their behavior has had on you. Frame what you have to say from your own perspective and point-of-view.  

4. Be authentic and believe it or not, you can’t lose if you speak straight from the heart. It helps them to listen generously, especially if they have had an unintended impact on you. 

5. Leave the conversation with a resolution. It may not be fully resolved, just start somewhere and go from there. You may have to make a request or two and possibly negotiate some new promises between each other.  Focus on finding a solution, not who is at fault.