Survival of the Fittest vs Survival of the Kindest
Our driver's name was Dr. Marshmallow, and he was really good at his job. He managed to avoid pretty much every one of the 40,000 potholes on the way to the Botswana/Zimbabwe border. He was paid by the trip, not the hour, but he eagerly and patiently stopped whenever we came across a small elephant herd, a family of baboons, or even an especially interesting baobab tree. He was kind, informative, and generous in spirit.
I'm here in Botswana this week with a team of consultants, and this is our third trip to this country. Our job is to work with an executive team to build a culture of high performance. We've done this work many times, but it's safe to say we are the ones learning here. We are learning about culture, wildlife, individuals, and ourselves. We are learning from extraordinary human beings in an extraordinary setting.
Botswana has come a long way in recent decades, but the average salary is still only around $6,000. The folks here work long hours without complaint, and it’s almost always uncomfortably hot. While there is not an abundance of wealth, there is an abundance of kindness. Much of this kindness is rooted in the Ubuntu concept. Ubuntu is an African term also called "humanity," which is based on an interdependent, universal bond.
The philosophy can be translated as “I am because you are.”
Wikipedia describes Ubuntu as: A collection of values and practices that people of Africa or of African origin view as making people authentic human beings. While the nuances of these values and practices vary across different ethnic groups, they all point to one thing – an authentic individual human being is part of a larger and more significant relational, communal, societal, environmental, and spiritual world.
Our Fundamental of the week is speaking straight, respectfully.
In Botswana, there’s a commitment to kindness and respect like no other culture I’ve seen, and because of that, speaking straight is a struggle. It’s a common default for all of us to equate honest feedback with insults or criticism. Most of us say we appreciate direct straight talk from others but shy away from actually giving it. Our default is to hide behind politeness to justify withholding this direct speaking. But this feedback is invaluable for our business, for our relationships, and for our growth. It’s actually necessary because we cannot transform ourselves without it. The feedback points to our blind spots… which we are indeed blind to on our own.
One of our jobs this week is to give this executive team the tools they need to carry this out. Not only are they great at it, but they are also seeing the immediate benefits, including stronger, more authentic relationships. When communication goes up, trust goes up too!
As I wrap this up, I’d like to share a subtle but powerful thing I’ve noticed this week.
Here at the resort on the beautiful Chobe River, I cross paths with many people bustling about the grounds. When I look into the eyes of other visitors here, we smile and say “Hello,” and the look in both our eyes says, “This place is special.”
When I smile and say hello to the local people of Botswana, their eyes say, “YOU are special.”
That’s more straight talk worth practicing as well.
In Ubuntu spirit,
Fundamental of the Week #3: SPEAK STRAIGHT, RESPECTFULLY
Address issues directly with those involved, even if it feels uncomfortable. Speak honestly, clearly, and respectfully in a way that moves the action forward. Ask questions for clarity and share ideas. Check for understanding.
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