The more we can all speak the same language, the better opportunity we have to accelerate the communication and results.

It’s this generosity in listening that makes them easy to serve and easy to love.

Most of us have a strong drive to hold on to pre-existing beliefs and convictions, which keep us anchored in the world. When your stance on controversial issues both cements your group identity and plants you in opposition to perceived enemies, changing it can exact a high personal toll.

The core of a successful coaching relationship is a bond of mutual trust. Both coach and client need to trust one another in order to openly and honestly explore both existing and potential new emotions, thought patterns and behaviors.

What made a safe environment possible was to talk about where it had not been safe, at all, up to that point.  It takes courage, conviction, and true commitment from leadership.  And it is very possible, and not all that complicated, once you choose to no longer tolerate a toxic environment.

Doing our best doesn’t mean being perfect. It means doing our best in the current situation at the current time in the current mind-frame with our current knowledge. By believing that everyone is doing their best, I can release myself from the situation and give every person the benefit of the doubt.

We train leaders to listen for others in a way that they are contributing to the success of the team, company, and customer. This doesn’t mean they have to agree with an opposing point of view. If we can get past the agreement part, we can listen for understanding and actually expand our perception and point of view. This could make all the difference in the outcome.

Clear and efficient communication begins with the speaker having a clear intention on what is to be said. 

I AM ASSOCIATING ENGAGEMENT WITH ELEVATING OURSELVES UP THE HUMAN LADDER, WHICH TAKES ENGAGING THE HEART.

THERE ARE BENEFITS TO BOTH PARTIES FROM LISTENING WELL:

• Higher productivity – problems solved faster with fewer duplicated efforts or heated arguments

• Increased trust – listening to individuals generates respect and trust

• Fewer mistakes – information received is more accurate

• Increased confidence – self-esteem goes up when we feel we are heard

One of our first exercises was to uncover my “core values,” which at first I thought would be more like “priorities” or “life roles.” No, I found out, everyone has values set so deep in them that it drives their lives. It’s not what we consider to be important; it’s what we know so deeply in our psyche that we expect everyone and everything to adhere.

Our calendars speak facts, and typically, our interpretation of what happened in the past year isn’t as accurate as the calendar.

What examples can you think of where a detail included or left out made the difference for you?

So, if how we perform is driven by our behavior, and our behavior is driven by what we believe, couldn’t taking our thoughts off of “automatic pilot” have a huge impact on how effective we are? This takes a lot of sustained discipline, because it takes raising our daily awareness.

Before reacting emotionally, consider the probability that the individual does not intend to be combative. Most people are, in fact, honest and well-meaning. Look for positive intent from them and make sure you are communicating your own.

An update on a story of recovery by coffee brand Starbucks

Getting back to someone in a timely fashion is a matter of accountability and trust. Response time is critical in business.

How to Have Everyday Integrity:

1. Keep your promises even if it takes extra effort.

2. Go back to a store and pay for something you forgot to pay for.

3. Never betray a friend's trust even if you get in trouble.

4. Inform the cashier he gave you too much change back.

5. Do not gossip or talking badly about someone.

6. Remain true to your spouse or partner.

7. When in a serious relationship, don't keep secrets from each other.

8. Return money that you noticed someone dropped without expecting a reward.

9. Ignore someone's advice on how to cheat on your taxes and not get caught.

10. Do not let someone else take the blame for something you did.

11. If someone gives you confidential information, never tell anyone what you know.

12. When it is obvious to you a relationship is over, don't drag it out but discuss it openly.

IN ORDER FOR THE REAL SPIRIT OF “LEADING BY EXAMPLE” TO BE EFFECTIVE, IT SEEMS LIKE IT TAKES A LOT OF PATIENCE AND MATURITY.

If you wish to truly motivate your team to a higher level of performance, try going a little deeper than a blanket “thank you.”