Is suffering overrated, or is it a choice? It brings to mind some choices we make in our learning and listening. Here’s help for breaking the cycle.

When I work with clients who are in similar situations, I usually tell them, “Find yourself at the source of your suffering.” They rarely like to hear this, and now I find myself reluctant to take my own medicine. It initially seems like I’m asking myself to take responsibility for someone else’s mistake, but that’s not it. I’m reminding myself to be accountable for my own experience. The suffering really is optional, and blaming just increases it for everyone.