Why Lack of Authenticity is Behind Most Business Problems
Me in front with my sister, grandmother and mother, Easter circa 1947, at Barton Springs
I grew up in a stereotypical American family in the ’50s: Mom, Dad, two kids and a dog.
We were on the lower end of the middle-class scale. Both my parents worked, and we had one car, which we rented until I was 12. I grew up with what I now consider the usual mix of self-doubt and insecurities.
As I was domesticated into society, my behavior was guided by a set of shoulds. Unlike George Washington who wrote his own Rules of Civility at about 14, mine were prescribed by parents, teachers, Sunday school and peers.
This shaped my social facade, belief structure and behavior. My strategy was, “Get people to like me.” My behavior was shaped by what I thought people wanted, and I spoke what I thought they wanted to hear. Of course, away from the eyes of others, I was quite rebellious and mischievous. I suspect a few of you can relate. Parents loved me until they figured out I was the reason their kid got in trouble. In retrospect, it was amazing I accomplished as much as I did.
I have a core of honesty, and it took me a lot of years to figure out that a lot of my discord resulted from stepping on it. There were two things that were tipping points for my recovery, twin peaks if you will:
First, I did a program called “est,” in the early ’70s and it drove new distinctions of accountability and integrity into my bones.
Second, I met Marlene and when I proposed, I made a series of promises about who I would be and what our relationship would look like if she would marry me. The rest of my life was then structured around keeping those promises. This demanded a new level of honesty and authenticity from me.
From that point on, my life was about truing up my actions with my speaking. In the process, I discovered that the root of safety, trust and integrity is founded in authenticity.
In 45 years of doing transformational work, 30 in businesses, I have found that most breakdowns, weaknesses and blindspots in business can be traced back to an absence of authenticity — someone or something not being straight or honest about something.
Breakdowns are a function of some conversation not had!
Honesty, straight talk, integrity and even accountability are grounded in authenticity. Authenticity, by necessity, starts with being authentic with ourselves. This takes practice because we do not always know, consciously, who our authentic selves are.
After a two-year COVID hiatus, we are bringing back our annual Momentum Summit in late April. As we grapple with changes the pandemic has imparted, we find the pathway to authenticity, especially when it looks counter-productive, to be a great context in which to examine where we are going and how we perform.
Most of us look outward to solve problems, whereas looking inward is often where the most sustainable solutions lie. We are trained to look outward at the physical universe, yet all answers flow from the intellectual universe. Like every skill set, this takes practice and awareness.
I said earlier my life has become about truing myself up with what I say and do. Four decades later, I am still truing and discovering.
May the Force be with you!
Cheers and Blessing,
Fundamental of the Week #16: RESPECT CONFIDENTIALITY
Honor the trust others give us. Be rigorous about safeguarding confidential information and be clear to other people about what should be kept in confidence.
Momentum Consulting offers executive business coaching, top-level executive consulting, team trainings and team off-sites to build and transform your business to the next level. Inquire about business consulting and leadership coaching today.
