Be Dedicated to Personal Growth…Just Not All the Time
Some of the many self-help and philosophy books I’ve acquired on my personal development quest
Momentum Consulting has 26 well-thought-out, thoroughly discussed fundamental behaviors.
These weren’t just slapped down on a piece of paper in five minutes ten years ago and forgotten. We reflect on how they manifest in the real world, and we revise them periodically. We live and breathe them and use them to drive decision-making. We talk about them ALL THE TIME, sometimes to the point of overanalysis (which I’ll get to in a bit).
In our discussions, I am the “Yes, but…” voice. Or as fans of improv might put it, “Yes, AND…” I doggedly point my finger at how the fundamentals can go awry. I see these pitfalls because of my own tendency to overload on “virtuous” behaviors to the point they surpass usefulness and become pathological. (Remind me to tell you about the time I almost exercised myself to death.)
So let me point that lens at this week’s fundamental…
Fundamental of the Week #17: BE DEDICATED TO PERSONAL GROWTH
Be a lifetime learner by challenging yourself to take risks and operate outside your comfort zone. Solicit feedback, learn from mistakes and apply that learning. The magic happens when you understand problems as opportunities for breakthroughs.
This is a fundamental behavior that, unlike some others (Ahem, Give Up The Need to Be Right) I easily pursue. My core value of curiosity drives me to ask questions like, “Why did I think about it that way?” and “How could I do it differently next time for a better result?”
But being enthusiastic about personal growth can become a hindrance.
I can get in the mindset that, if I’m analytical enough, I can solve all the problems before they happen. That kind of detail-oriented behavior can be helpful, but too much of it can cause me to lose sight of the big picture. And it’s a good recipe for becoming obsessive.
When I’m always in learning mode, always pushing myself outside that comfort zone we so eschew these days, I miss out on relaxing, on appreciating the moment, on just being in it. And there is nothing wrong with kicking back, taking a deep breath and thinking, I’m good right now, without constantly critiquing how I could be better.
Personal growth is worthwhile, for sure.
All of the reading, learning, self-induced therapy and hard conversations I’ve had with loved ones over the years have opened my eyes to my blind spots. And while it is humbling and even painful at the time, knowing myself to that depth has made my relationships more honest and increased my overall life satisfaction.
But you can take a break.
EVERYTHING doesn’t have to be a learning experience. Everything doesn’t have to be an analysis of “How can we do even better next time?” Everything doesn’t have to be a reflection of why you feel that way or what part of your childhood gave you that particular anxiety.
Being dedicated to personal growth is useful. I recommend it.
But like most good things, it takes energy, which means sometimes you need a break. It feels good to recognize that no matter how anal you get about the details, things will still go wrong, and that is okay. No matter how much you analyze why you are what you are, you will never know it all.
Never knowing it all, never arriving (or arriving in every moment, as a Buddhist would put it) is both the reason to keep going and the reason to stop and rest. So go to therapy, ask yourself why, and reflect on that project and how you’d do it differently. Then, let it all go and just BE.
(Can you tell I’ve gotten back into yoga recently?)
Namasté,
Fundamental of the Week #17: BE DEDICATED TO PERSONAL GROWTH
Be a lifetime learner by challenging yourself to take risks and operate outside your comfort zone. Solicit feedback, learn from mistakes and apply that learning. The magic happens when you understand problems as opportunities for breakthroughs.
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