List: Tyrants or Tools?
Photo by Karolina Grabowska
I am a list keeper. I always have been, due to the fear of forgetting a task, a return phone call, or any appointment. I’m sure I learned this tool from my mom as I watched her pin lists to her clothing. (She took the extra mile to make sure her list traveled with her.) This was necessary for all the things she was juggling as a working mom. She would come flying into the driveway, prepare dinner, clean up, and the list stayed attached. I honestly don’t know what actually got accomplished on the list, but it was something that she relied on, and I was always tickled to see her shirt of tiny papers and to-dos. If only sticky notes were available back then.
Sometimes my list is short and sweet, while other times it keeps going, and I can’t seem to make a dent in it. I am a very organized person, which is why I keep a list in the first place. I don’t like missing something, and I can’t rely on my brain to remember it all. For instance, I recall one particularly hectic week when I had so many tasks on my list that I felt overwhelmed. Despite my best efforts, I struggled to find time for myself or for meaningful interactions with loved ones. It was then that I realized my list had started to dictate my life, rather than serving as a helpful tool.
I have so much admiration for people who can keep it all in their heads and accomplish the tasks, calls, and appointments. I’m starting to wonder if they are just smarter by committing to fewer tasks at a time?
I also have another theory. I wonder if I tie the length of my list to my self-importance. I notice the more I have on my list, the more it must mean that I’m busy, valuable, and worthy. And in reality, all I really get is exhausted! Our culture tends to celebrate the people who can do it all. The more we have on our list validates our credibility and status. We champion “doing” and checking things off more than the results produced or attending to our well-being. This is a slippery slope because the list never stops. I get curious about people who have longer lists than me and declare they can never get through their lists! Uh-oh! What am I doing wrong? This is the spiral I head down…”Am I doing enough? Am I forgetting something? Can I see your list to make sure I’m not missing anything that will make me just as busy and important as you?”
Perhaps I need to reevaluate my measurement for self-worth and ask myself, “Does this list serve my productivity and peace? Is this tool supporting my time management? Can I walk away from my list without judgment?” And, most importantly, I am enough with or without my list.
Here are some steps to reevaluate your relationship with your to-do list:
Reflect on Your List: Take a moment to reflect on the content of your list. Are the tasks you're prioritizing aligned with your values and goals? Are there any items that can be removed or delegated?
Prioritize Self-Care: Ensure that your list includes time for self-care and meaningful activities that contribute to your well-being. Remember, taking care of yourself is just as important as completing tasks.
Set Realistic Expectations: Be realistic about what you can accomplish in a day. Avoid overloading your list with tasks that may lead to stress and burnout.
Practice Mindfulness: Be mindful of how your list makes you feel. Are you using it as a measure of your self-worth? Remind yourself that your value is not determined by the length of your to-do list.
Celebrate Progress: Celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small. Acknowledge the progress you've made and the effort you've put in, rather than focusing solely on what's left to do.
We have a lot of information constantly bombarding our brains. We must have some tools to manage our lives. However, we can’t lose sight of the motivation behind our actions. Does it feel good to have a long list, or can you take some things off? Are we driven by the list or by our desire to accomplish some things and honor our peace? In other words, don’t let the tail wag the dog. Be mindful, patient, and forgiving no matter what your list looks like.
OTL! (Off The List can now have a positive spin!)
Fundamental of the Week #25: PAY ATTENTION TO THE DETAILS
Be rigorous about accuracy and precision. Double-check your work.
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