Is “Fine” Really How You Are?
Photo by Vitolda Klein on Unsplash
Happy New Year!
How are you? Really, how are you? Take a moment to think about the real answer to that question. There’s the answer we automatically give, and there is possibly a very different answer if we are honest.
Why do we feel we have to glaze over the truth if it doesn’t sound good? Do we forget that we are all in this together, and part of our human experience is to feel sadness, joy, struggle, happiness and the full range of emotions?
A couple of days after Christmas, I felt sad, angry, exhausted and confused. The confusion was me not allowing myself permission to feel the unwanted feelings. I kept thinking how much I had to be grateful for and that I was being ungrateful by feeling negative emotions. That just made me feel worse, so I allowed myself to fully feel sad, angry and exhausted. I surrendered!
I realized that I spent so much energy preparing for the holiday, giving my attention to family and friends that I forgot to take care of myself. I needed to express the truth: I got caught up in looking a certain way, and that came with a huge physical, mental and emotional cost. We will never fully care for others without condition if we are not unconditionally taking care of ourselves.
What does it mean to unconditionally take care of yourself?
It means to allow and accept your full human-being experience. We all have a variation of wins and losses in our lives. How we choose to respond to these experiences will determine our reality. In other words, according to Drs. Ron and Mary Hulnick of University of Santa Monica,
“How you deal with the issue IS the issue.”
We did not come here to live perfect lives. We came here to learn, love, fail, accept and grow. Whether you believe that or not doesn’t change the experience. When we can embrace our journey and all the parts that come with it, we begin fully living. That is how you can truly be of service to yourself and others.
Here’s what I invite you to do as we begin a new year:
Be honest with yourself. How do you really feel? Let it in, feel it and let it pass. Write down some self-care goals. I would encourage you to consider selecting a physical goal, mental goal (perhaps letting go of judgment) and emotional goal (practicing compassion and forgiveness). If you are a spiritual person, include that as well.
Write these goals down, and read them every day. Trust me, we need a reminder to help us live new habits. Above all, love yourself, and I mean ALL of yourself. That is the greatest gift you can give yourself, your community, and the world.
Take great care,
Fundamental #8: SERVICE IS 360
We serve each other, our customers and ourselves when we serve the community. Demonstrate making a difference.
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