External Experience Mirrors Our Internal World
Until recently, I was a self-proclaimed hater of winter in Austin, Texas.
All of the trees lost their leaves, and everything around me felt dull and depressing, leaving me with the same dull and depressed feeling on the inside. Every January, I would notice the branches become barer and the resentment start to surface. I was actually getting mad at the trees for losing their leaves. In hindsight, the victimhood of that situation is cringe-worthy.
Last week, as I was walking around Town Lake, I noticed most of the trees were bare; it was that time of year again, but this time was different. Rather than feeling upset, I felt deep compassion and appreciation for mother nature's very natural cycle of seasons. At that moment, it occurred to me that all those years I was mad at the trees were really a projection of how I was feeling about myself.
Since I can remember, I have been an extremely high achiever with astronomical expectations of myself and my performance. About four years ago, the level of expectation I put on myself to perform became neurotic.
Perfection was the ONLY option …
… when it came to my nutrition, fitness, and appearance. This also leaked over into my business. There was no room for rest or the natural flow of seasons we are supposed to experience as humans. So when it was time for my winter (i.e., extra rest, days off, depression, processing challenging emotions), I would fight it with every fiber of my being. But no matter how hard I resisted, winter always came, and I was always left feeling defeated.
Then, with my tail between my legs, I would finally surrender to my human condition and emotionally punish myself until my spring came to prove that I was worthy of my own love. I’d watch myself start to blossom and think,
“Thank god, I’m not a total loser after all.”
Peak performance was my bare minimum, and anything less than perfection didn’t deserve to be loved or nourished by me. The ironic part is that nurturing and loving my winters is the very thing that would make them shorter, smoother, and increase my performance when spring came.
I have compassion and appreciation for the trees now because I learned what it means to have compassion and appreciation for myself, especially during my winters. And now my spring is more abundant, lush and joyful than ever.
Everything we experience externally is a mirror of our internal world.
I share this with you because I know I am not unique in wanting to fight my internal environment for doing exactly what it's supposed to do. Change seasons.
So if you find yourself outsourcing your power to an external circumstance, as I did with the trees, use it as an opportunity to turn inward and see what part of you is craving acceptance, attention and your own love. You might be surprised what you find.
Fundamental #10: KEEP THINGS FUN
The problems that face us day-to-day at work are small compared to the challenges facing most of the world. Keep your perspective, and don’t take things personally or yourself too seriously. Laugh every day with others.
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