From Panic to Purpose: My Fatherhood Story
Photo by Brett Morris
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there!
Holidays can be emotional and different for everyone. Not all men are able to be dads, and some dads have lost sons. My father passed away over eight years ago, so this day is bittersweet for me.
That said, this piece is not just about being a dad; it’s about bringing our best to each moment of life. In connecting with dads over the past decade and a half, I’ve found a common thread among us – WE LOVE IT!
Not only do we love it, but we’re also surprised by how much we love it, and we remember the moment we became dads.
For me, the first moment kind of began when I found out my wife was pregnant. I say “kind of” because it didn’t feel real yet. It was a moment of happiness drenched with panic and uncertainty:
I didn’t know if I could do it.
I didn’t know if we would make it to term (though my wife was 100% sure we would).
I didn’t know how to identify as a dad.
The second memorable leap came about eight months later when my son was born. That was an unforeseen moment of pure, overwhelming love. There was no doubt or uncertainty this time. It felt like pouring an ocean of love into a coffee cup – an overabundance of joy and certainty that I couldn’t have previously imagined. Identifying as a dad suddenly became easy. The experience of infinite love put everything I’d ever known into a new perspective. Even though many dads had told me about it in advance, I was unprepared and it showed up in unexpected ways. For the first few years, whenever Gabriel and I made physical contact, an energetic force would travel through my body up to my throat, causing a little cough. An actual cough – every time.
Photo by Brett Morris
Mothers have told me of a similar, but less delayed, experience. They say it starts when they know they’re pregnant and the bond begins right away.
For us dads, it’s more of a “What the heck just happened?” kind of thing that turns everything upside down in an instant. It’s almost like it was only theoretical until he was born which caused the reinvention of my identity.
Since that moment, it’s been natural to follow the advice of this week’s Fundamental: ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST. Develop the practice of doing your best each day. As it becomes a habit, what constitutes your best will change and improve over time.
How effective my best has been remains to be seen, as I know I’ve made mistakes. Just as my clients keep me on my toes, the existence of my children holds me accountable for bringing my best to life. Everything in life picked up speed when that little purple frog-baby came into our lives that Sunday evening in 2008, and ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST has been a welcome accountability ever since.
Whether you’re a dad or not, feel free to share your experiences in our comment section. It’s really cool to get the perspective of our readers.
Cheers!
Fundamental of the Week #5: ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST
Develop the practice of doing your best each day. As it becomes a habit, what constitutes your best will change and improve over time.
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