The First Step to Getting What You Want is Knowing What You Want
Do you ever find yourself struggling to get what you want? No matter how patient you are or how open you are to the possibilities the world has to offer, it just never seems to work out. If the answer is yes, I may have the solution to your problem.
We’ve all heard the term “keep your options open,” but what if keeping our options open actually narrows our ability to get what we want? Being specific—really specific—actually increases our chances of getting what we want. This applies to everything, including business. Keeping our options open often results in settling for something that isn't truly meant for us.
Where our focus goes, energy flows.
If we don't have something specific to focus on, the energy doesn’t know where to go. So, by being clear about our expectations and standards for what we want in life and business, we can create better results.
An important note: There is a difference between specificity and attachment.
For example, say you’ve decided you’re ready for a relationship. To find the right one, you must be specific about the type of partner you’re looking for. This could mean making a list of all the qualities you want this person to have and how you want to feel when you’re with them. Then, you would only pursue relationships with people who possess those qualities.
Attachment, on the other hand, would be meeting one person and deciding they have to be the one. From there, everything you do is about making sure you stay with that person. Being specific is about owning our standards and knowing we're worthy of getting what we want. Attachment stems from fear and cuts us off from other possibilities, which can ultimately prevent us from getting what we want. When we find ourselves attached to something, it’s often because we don’t feel secure in our ability to attain it.
Many of us don’t actually know what we want. We haven’t taken the time to believe that our desires could become reality. So, what can we do about it?
An easy first step to knowing what you want is to look at what you don't want.
Then, narrow it down from there. Over time, you can create a list of non-negotiable standards. The key is that once you know what your non-negotiables are, you don’t budge on them. You don’t accept anything less than exactly what you deserve. If someone or something doesn’t meet your non-negotiable standards, it’s not meant for you. The good news? Once we get clear on what we want and act accordingly, the universe does much of the heavy lifting by steering us away from situations that don’t serve us.
Our job is to keep showing up, set appropriate boundaries, and honor our worth. So, if you struggle with getting what you want, give this a try and let me know how it goes. And remember, you are always worth getting exactly what you want.
Fundamental #22: DEMONSTRATE URGENCY IN RESPONSE TIME AND FOLLOW-UP
Model enthusiasm in your response to issues and rigor in your follow-up. Keep people updated, and make sure they are clear about your communications.
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