Is It Better to Have Loved and Lost Than Never to Have Loved at All?
Photo by Caitlyn Rose Clark
"Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?"
Last Monday, I found myself facing an excruciating decision, one that no dog owner ever wants to make. It was the day we had to say goodbye to our sweet boy, Blaze. At just one and a half years old, he was the epitome of the goodest boy, bringing boundless joy and love into our lives. Blaze had entered our world as a Valentine's Day gift in 2022, a gesture of affection from my boyfriend at the time and my best friend, Matt.
Blaze was almost double the size of his littermates and chunky in all the right places. However, as time passed, we began to notice disconcerting behavior in Blaze – an extreme aggression towards small children and strangers. This issue became all the more perilous considering Blaze's imposing 75 pounds of pure muscle. Despite our tireless efforts in training and consulting specialists, his aggression persisted and even escalated. Tragically, he had already inflicted severe injuries on a close family friend. It was evident that, despite our best efforts and daily precautions, another such incident was looming on the horizon.
And so, we were left with the unenviable task of making a heart-wrenching decision, one that marked a profound leap into adulthood for both of us. In those final moments, we showered Blaze with all the treats, affection, and gratitude we could muster, holding him in our laps as he took his last breaths.
The question of why Blaze was brought into our lives only to be taken from us so abruptly remains unanswered. What is undeniably clear, however, is that the year and a half we shared with him was a reservoir of love that exceeded what some people experience in a lifetime. Blaze was not just a pet; he was a remarkable teacher and best friend, imparting essential life lessons.
Firstly, he taught me patience and grace. Faced with his behavioral challenges, I had to summon a level of patience I never knew I possessed. His presence exemplified what it means to love unconditionally.
Moreover, Blaze revealed the difficult art of making a selfless decision, even when it feels like the most selfish thing to do. Euthanizing our boy was an agonizing choice, but it was one made out of concern for the safety of others.
It taught me that sometimes, the most compassionate decision can also be the most heart-breaking.
But most profoundly, Blaze reminded me that part of the agreement of being on Earth is experiencing contrast. That joy and grief are a package deal and equally important emotions for the human experience.
In the end, Blaze left us with the most profound lesson of all: it is indeed better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
Our Valentine's puppy will forever hold a special place in our hearts, a testament to the enduring power of love, even in the face of loss.
David Ellsworth said it best: "If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever."
Fundamental of the Week #24: ASSUME POSITIVE INTENT
Work from the assumption that people are good, fair, and honest. Set aside your own judgments or preconceived notions, and give people the benefit of the doubt. Look for the positive intent in their actions and communications.
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