Who Are Your People?
Martha Lynn (3rd from the left) with some of her people
Who are your people? It’s an ambiguous question; it’s meant to be.
Which person or people came to mind first?
Many years ago, I was watching an episode of Grey’s Anatomy about who each character’s person was — the one they would call first for anything. This person is there for you for the good news, the bad news, the silly news, all without judgment. This person completely, unconditionally loves you no matter what. (I think I just described a mother’s love.)
If you have that person, you are lucky. If you have more than one person, that is a blessing.
This is on my mind because I’m spending the weekend with my childhood/high school friends. The ten of us gather only once a year, but we fall into a groove as if no time has passed. These are the people who REALLY know me. They know my parents, my brother, my childhood home, my crazy high school antics, boyfriends, and all the secrets. The relationship I have with these girls is comfortable, solid and sweet. We have over 50 years of history and a common experience that creates a very special bond.
I have another group of friends I call my chosen family.
I’ve known these women since college and young adulthood. We have been through marriages, divorces, childbirth and the loss of parents. We’ve raised our children together. These people also REALLY know me. We travel, have dinners, dance, laugh and cry together. But most importantly, they are my first phone call (outside of my husband). They are my community and the friends who experience day-to-day life with me.
My husband and I also spend time with “couple” friends. These are unique relationships because we not only get along as couples, we like each other individually and can have independent relationships. These couples are like family to me, and we share lots of life together.
Some friendships are like seasons.
They come and go with time. They serve a purpose, and then we move on. We attract relationships due to circumstances, lessons to learn and healing. As my kids have grown, for instance, I realize my circle of friends is smaller. However, the core group hasn’t changed at all.
I wouldn’t love my life (including the hard stuff) without my people.
Humans need each other. We are all connected, and we all live on the same planet. We all want to be happy, feel good and experience love. It’s a wonder we make that so hard for ourselves. We spend a lot of time comparing ourselves to others and judging. (Thanks, social media!) What do we really get out of that besides misery?
This is why I count on my people; they keep me real. They remind me that I am perfect just as I am, and they call me out when I forget to be kind or respectful. They are rooting for my greatness as I am rooting for them, too.
So, who is your person? Who are your people? Nurture those relationships, and hold on tight. We can’t do this human dance without a partner.
Cheers to our besties,
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Fundamental of the Week #18: PRACTICE BLAMELESS PROBLEM-SOLVING
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