Why do I feel no one is Listening? | Fundamental 9

Communicate to be understood

It sounds right in my head, so why can’t they understand me?

Leaders say to me “My employees are not listening to me.” or “I’ve told them this so many times.” “Why can’t they remember?” “We JUST talked about this!”

So, why are top leaders in top organizations having trouble being heard?

Let’s compare this example to parenting. Are you a parent? Do you find yourself making similar statements at home? “Why aren’t you listening?” “I asked you 10 minutes ago!”

My son Gabriel is ten. He’s a great kid and a really good listener most of the time. What I have found is that in any situation with Gabriel, we need to talk through the problem in detail for a few minutes, and then make a short list of solutions. I try to not just hand Gabriel the solution and walk away, but to ask him to consider possible solutions and let him recognize his own answer.

Whether it is at home or at work, here is what I have noticed. Trying to be heard in dictation is quite different from being heard in conversation.

When I consider the perspective of the person I’m conversing with, I am much more successful at getting them invested my communication. They seem to retain and understand the communication much better when they feel it pertains to them. 

When we understand that what we say in any communication is not nearly as important as what the listener takes away from the interaction, we raise the bar on our effectiveness and our performance.

What are some successes and some failures you’ve had in your communication? What’s the impact of that and how do you deal with that?

We’d love to hear from you.



Fundamental 9: Communicate to Be Understood

Communicate in the least complicated way, so that your audience understands you.  This applies to all communication: Spoken, written, illustrated, etc. We are accountable for what people take from our communication.

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