The Golden Rule and Full Accountability
It has often been said “no good deed goes unpunished”. Many of us don’t have to look too far in our history to find evidence why this is a true statement. How many times have you gone out on the skinny branches to help someone in need only to get no sufficient gratitude or payback? Wouldn’t it be great if they just did the right thing and recognized how generous you are? It’s much easier to do “unto your neighbor …“ if there is a solid guarantee they will reciprocate.
At this point I will pose the suggestion that a 50-50 mentality does NOT add up to 100%. In fact it is much closer to zero.
50-50 mentality makes me think of one of my favorite metaphors: “It’s not leaking on my side of the boat, only yours.”
If I venture to take accountability for my half I am not adding to yours. In reality what I’m doing is apologizing with the condition you do the same. So this means I get to hold on to the belief that you were wrong, because you apologized. Furthermore I get to carry this with me for future use should I need evidence to again prove your wrongness. Isn’t that what we do?
When we take full accountability for the situation we do it 100%. We do it unconditionally and without expectations from the other party.
Does this completely forgive the other person? Yes.
Does it sometimes feel like you will choke on your pride as it goes down? Yes.
Does this mean you are condoning bad behavior? No.
Look … we’ve spent a lifetime surviving and attempting to get people to do things our way. Taking full accountability is relieving yourself of this burden. This is good news!
Blaming puts me in jail. Taking accountability gives me the key to unlock the cell door and step into freedom and power.
Freedom and power is the whole point really. Otherwise if I’m shirking responsibility, it’s kind of like I’m affirming an inability to deal with the situation. By taking accountability I’m sending a message to myself: I made this, and I can deal with this!
Try it out and notice the difference in power. It is this power that gets us what we want.
Sound good so far? Sound powerful and free?