I Have a Secret…

Click above for an introduction by Executive Coach Martha Lynn Mangum

When you hear someone say, “I have a secret”, what is your first reaction?

Is it curiosity, excitement, anxiety, concern?

Are you sitting on the edge of your seat like you’re about to be given a big gift of juicy knowledge or gossip?

Here is the definition of a secret (from Webster Dictionary):  Secret: 1a : something kept hidden or unexplained : mystery. b : something kept from the knowledge of others or shared only confidentially with a few. c : a method, formula, or process used in an art or operation and divulged only to those of one’s own company or craft : trade secret.

I would imagine your response would be consistent with the definition of the secret. Is it a mystery, something to be kept from others, or something you’re protecting like the launch of a new product? We often believe that secrets give us power because we know something others don’t.

Knowledge is power, right? 

“Secrets are callouses on the heart.”  –John Dutton from “Yellowstone

My own philosophy about secrets is that the longer we hold them the more potential negative impact they have. I’m not talking about other people’s secrets because those aren’t ours to share. I’m talking about our own secrets. Typically, if we feel we have to be secretive, then we are probably dealing with something upsetting, shameful, embarrassing, fearful or hurtful. If we don’t share the secret, then maybe we won’t feel the pain.

The work we do at Momentum Consulting is transformational. We coach our clients to become extraordinary leaders and are committed to improving  and sustaining great results for them. We can’t succeed unless our clients trust us and  feel safe sharing their secrets. Secrets take up a lot of room and can create roadblocks. 

“We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others, that in the end, we become disguised to ourselves.”François de La Rochefoucauld

If we can assist people in clearing these obstacles, so much more gets accomplished. The secret in our head can be dark and scary. It loses its intensity when you share it with someone.  Innovative ideas or new concepts take on a new life when revealed to others. The secret gets released and a plan of action takes its place.

Sometimes, we have a secret about someone else that is holding us back. We hold our clients accountable to clean up unresolved issues with others as well. The secret they are holding may simply be a misinterpretation. 

Our commitment to our clients is to give them a safe place to share, express, and unpack all the secrets. It is only through our promise of confidentiality that this is possible. It’s my number one promise. It is actually a beautiful irony. 

My promise to keep the secret actually sets the secret free. 

Do you have any secrets that are ready to be set free? You can trust us with those secrets.

Let it go and let’s go,

Martha Lynn Mangum

Fundamental of the Week #16: RESPECT CONFIDENTIALITY. Honor the trust others give us. Be rigorous about keeping all information in confidence and be vigilant to safeguard it.

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